prayer flags when needed

It' s been an amazing time here in San Francisco. At home I'm not usually alone for more than a few hours at a time and, frankly, I didn't know how I'd react to nearly three weeks of solitude. The reaction has been less than dramatic, just a quiet settling in and gradually slipping into my own body rhythms which aren't so different from what I usually experience day to day, except that I can guiltlessly allow myself to be self-indulgent. Bubble bath with candlelight at any hour. Sandwich or hummus for dinner. Chilled wine. Knitting until midnight while watching Dark Victory or An Affair to Remember. Writing at 6 in the morning or 11 at night. Taking city walks whenever the urge hits me. Happily donning a sweater and silk scarf against the foggy chill of morning and evening, getting a haircut yesterday, hearing the doleful sound of the foghorn out on the Bay even when the sun is shining inland. Coffee and sweet California peaches. It's all good. And then life and death intervene.

unspeakable loss
I left the house mid-morning and headed out to my nephew's coffee shop, Bread and Butter Cafe. We'd had dinner Saturday night and talked non-stop, so I looked forward to taking up his invitation to hang out in his place with my notebook. Over latte's when I first arrived, we jumped right into intense conversation, planned another dinner together -- and then he received a call from his mother that his older brother had passed. Today. He'd been ill, we thought he was getting better. He lived in Oakland, his parents live on the east coast. Is it a coincidence that I happen to be here at this moment in time? A friend commented: "timely, as it should be." Needless to say, the rest of the day took on quite a different aspect than expected. Through the weeks preceding this trip, many things conspired to keep me away and to change my plans, but something else always prodded me to hold firm. There are plans now that need to be decided upon, but one thing I know is that fate weaves a web of unexpected circumstances and we'd better be strong. Life is what happens when you're making other plans.