now what, life?

Local astrologer Josseph said that there's a touch of dissatisfaction in the stars. Don't make a Big Deal out of it.... I'm trying not to. There's talk about Mercury in retrograde and how it's messing up all manner of things including, in my case, unexpected criticism and the inability to get anything to go smoothly - from knitting a sock to cooking pasta. I haven't exercised since I returned and feel as if the fitness advantage I gained in miles of city walking is gone with the alpine wind. My pants are tight again. But we have had rain every afternoon - a little or (like today) a lot. Lovely grey skies and cooler temps by late afternoon. Good sleeping weather.

Many things to take care of, not all positive. I'm sad that I won't be able to go to my nephew's memorial service in Connecticut next weekend. They don't need my presence, but I would like to be there (Josseph's voice: don't make a Big Deal of it).

Fernando Pessoa, the Portuguese writer, once said:  Literature is the most agreeable way of ignoring life" and although I'm not ignoring, I have gotten lost in books more than usual (and that's a lot!). After seeing the The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel movie on Sunday, I downloaded the novel upon which it is based, written by Deborah Moggach (who also wrote the screenplay). Moggach has an uncanny way of pinpointing the subtle (and not) shifts in long term relationships and aging. She writes with poignancy and humor. This line could have made me weep, but I smiled: "...she has Alzheimers -- the old dear; turned up at the airport carrying three handbags. It took them ages to get through the security checks." I could almost see myself doing that someday. My mother had Alzheimers and it was sad and funny at the same time. At the so-called "home" she collected other people's dentures. I have many handbags.

Impermanence. Exquisite, obscure, dangerous, pointless....

Find the still point...