over and over

It began around 6:30 this morning. Yesterday's rain turned to snow during the night and we woke to 6-8 inches and a transformed world. In my PJs I went from window to window snapping pictures through the glass because the scene was changing rapidly.

north...northwest...south...

And now, at mid-morning snow melts, it's sunny, clouds up, drips are stopped and become instant icicles...I've put the camera away. Nature outdistances me as always. Why am I so obsessed? Is it about my possessive personality? I want to own what I see in a tangible way? Own this day so that I can go back and experience it? I'll never figure that one out. And it's not important anyway. The horses don't give it much thought and when I look at them in the next field their simple presence calms me down and a few thought tumblers satisfactorily clank into place.

When I return from meditation later today, I'll resume work on my most cheerful project. I'm so close to the finish line. Last night, thinking about completion, I completely messed up the heel and had to rip it out. It might have been the late hour or the glass of wine or the Italian movie with Anna Magnani in her cardigan and bobby-socks. On screen she was the quintessential tough emotional Italian woman - in a class by herself as an actress. I know nothing about her beyond her screen persona. In the 1950s when I saw those movies I didn't appreciate her as I do now. I saw too many women in my neighborhood in the Bronx who looked and acted like her and I didn't want to be like that. I wasn't sure who I wanted to be but it was closer to Debbie Reynolds or Natalie Wood.

I have someone in mind for these socks. Sometimes during knitting an insistent voice informs me that what I'm making is really for so-and-so and even if I disagree, it always turns out to be so.  This surprise yarn has been fun to work with  and I think it has actually helped to change my perspective from winter blues to a touch of cheer.  I can't wait to start the next pair in spring greens.

I stayed too long 
at the yarn shop
spring rain caught me
swirled through my afternoon
and into the night
brought back snow season
another world created
as we start over again